“Al-Anon has helped me realize that no one readily knows what is in his heart, mind, and soul. I can’t expect my needs to be met unless I first explain what those needs are. Nor can I expect any one person to meet all those needs, even if I make them clear. If the first person I ask for help is unable to provide it, I can ask someone else. This takes the pressure off all of us.
Before I began my Al-Anon recovery, I expected those closest to me to know what I was feeling without my telling them. When I was angry and wanted to argue, I silently fumed. When I was hurt and wanted comfort, I pouted. When I wanted attention, I talked non-stop. I couldn’t understand why I rarely got the responses I expected!
I no longer expect anyone to read my mind. I also accept that I can’t read the mind of a loved one. Today I treat the people in my life with more respect because I am learning to ask for what I need and to encourage others to do the same.”
-Courage to Change, p. 66
Easier said than done, but I'm working on it little by little. Last night I casually talked about Al-Anon and going to meetings with one of my new friends. It reminded me that coming out with my ACA story doesn't have to be this momentous event with tears and lots of feelings. Sometimes it can just be a conversation.
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